When you’ve spent half the night awake, an early night together might mean an early night to sleep. That’s a perfectly fair thing to say. If the pattern is wearing you down, you can ask for help with the sleep itself.
Describe the night and the next day
Are you struggling to fall asleep, waking hot and sweaty, or lying awake long after the flush passes? Note when it happens and how you feel the next day. The NHS recognises trouble falling or staying asleep around menopause, sometimes alongside night sweats. NHS menopause symptoms
What a structured sleep programme studied
In one US trial, 106 women aged 40 to 65 with insomnia symptoms and frequent hot flushes were assigned to six telephone sessions over eight weeks. One group received cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia, often called CBT-I. The other received menopause education. Insomnia scores improved more with CBT-I at eight weeks, and the difference persisted at 24 weeks. Daily hot flush frequency did not differ between groups. The study used self-reported sleep measures and focused on a specific group of women. It measured sleep outcomes rather than changes in desire. McCurry et al., JAMA Internal Medicine
Take one question to your appointment
“My sleep has been interrupted for weeks. Could we talk about what may be waking me up and whether CBT for sleep could help?” Bring a few nights of notes if you have them. Ask what a programme involves and what options are available locally. The NHS includes CBT among options that can help with sleep problems around menopause. NHS menopause support
If you want time together, you can suggest something that fits the energy you have today. A cup of tea together in the morning is an invitation too. Read our guide to sleep and desire
The trial received US National Institute on Aging funding. Several authors disclosed industry grants or consulting fees, listed in the original paper.
General information for adults. Prepared with AI assistance and checked against the linked sources. For advice about your care, speak with a healthcare professional.